Hello Sabah :D

Well its been my first week here, in UMS.
Okay, my first day here has been a disaster.
They changed my hostel, then my original room couldn't be opened, then I had to carry my 31.9kg luggage up my hostel FML seriously
That day I really feel like cursing and swearing. I feel like crying.
Theres no place like home.
No particular place to iron your clothes, tumpang at opposite room, not-as-clean-as-own-toilet toilet.
Sleep rape too? pfftt stupid announcements they make outside our window using a speaker.
It was a disaster, seriously.
After that, I found out that the ultimate goal is to adapt, make use of the facilities available and getting used to it. Its time to step out of your comfort zone.
After a few days of stupid sleep rape and boring talks, me and my roomie finally decided to kick our room door open, and we succeed!! :D
We finally get to move in, unpack the bags and start to settle down, but the thing is now we still couldn't lock the room door =/ we destroyed it.
We used one whole day for spring cleaning. ZOMG so damn dusty. But it felt so good after everything is clean :DD

This is my workplace!

Well fyi that grey thingy is something like a notice board. this is even more innovative that ikea furniture lol. There's still cabinets up there, and the long one is your closet, the cabinet at where you put your leg is actually a shoe rack, the table can be pulled put so that there's more space.

The mattress was a disaster, had to spray FEBREEZE on it :( All in all theres no place like home.

If you're considering a firm butt you can consider staying at my place. Firstly you gotta climb up a slope to my area, then a flight of stairs consisting around a 100 stairs, then 3 floors up to my hostel. I'm gona be so tan staying here. :( Sunblock and umbrella with UV protection is crucial!!

6.12am

They say this is Gunung Kinabalu. But I'm still not sure. I don't think so =/ haha this is my hostel room view. This is 6am, its already very bright. Thus I wake up very early every morning. The one behind is Kinabalu, not the front one. You can't see it in the afternoon, only around this time in the morning. Sometimes the top is covered in clouds. Its nice :)

The weather is here is quite unpredictable, it would rain very heavily and after that the sun shines brightly. Thats why I said the umbrella is crucial. But guys with foldable umbrellas are so gay XD

Well my class has around 50 people, chinese are not even half of the class, guys are not even one forth of the class. Haha

P/S: the pictures taken are of bad quality, and my memory card ate some of the pictures I wana post =/ anw I will post them up here when I retrieved it. Here are some pics to share =)

I purposely wrote my chinese name? XD

The Dewan Canselor. Lights like stars.

Aerobics night =/ Pusat sukan.

Well btw this is a super boring week. Super sienness. Sleep wash eat clean thats all we can do.

Anyway a new life is awaiting us, hope we'll all do well in uni :) hope

 all izz well, like in 3 idiots XD. Key to success is adapting! You won't know how it is to leave home until you really left home. I miss home :')

                                                          

Distance not by the miles, it counts by the heart

Time zones different

But we're still looking at the same sky

Well I realise that actually the distance has brought us closer

We'll do things we never did.

Awesomeful, actually.

 I like this, its nice =)

Well altho its kinda short, but we still get to talk.

Take care ma babes

We'll soar high

Proudness of the girls.

Thank god I had you girls 

XOXO

<3

=)

Counting down the days

After sending Ning off, I started to think whats next

one less person to brag with

one less person to hang out with

Hmm I'm next to leave?

In like 18 days?

I'm kinda fed up with all the paperwork and documents =/

Its a new beginning for life

a new lease of hope

I wish I'd see what I want

Deep down it still hurts. 

Because its so deep down, nobody would see it

Maybe they would think that I never cared, but actually I cared, so much

that I hurt myself so badly. The heart is now scarred

Well I hope momma would be happier w/out me making her mad =)

I want hope

I want a change. 

I wana feel again how it is to strive hard

this sloth and topple

killing me right to the core

I seriously don't know how to feel

I was starting to enjoy my times on this island

and now, its time to leave again

I don't know where this will take me to

Maybe I won't get to stay here anymore

Well, its unpredictable, anything can happen

What can I say,

Well this would be a life changing experience.

I don't know what to expect.

But I know that I'll surely miss. Literally everything.

My lappie is gona be the only loyal friend that will follow me there

I wish I will miss the freedom of driving more than you

I wish I could let everything go

I wish I wouldn't hold back in whatever I do

I wish to be the best I could

I wish to be excellent. If I deserve to

I hope I will appreciate the distance

Then I would see things from a spectator's point of view

Somehow, I would feel an awesome lot better

Trained not to let anybody see my tears

trained to take everything down your throat

I hope I can cope.

A new lease of hope

A new life.

I will welcome it with a big smile on my face 

Love life =) 

This is for my Ning Ning :')

This is dedicated for my bestie :')
The skype just now was. Well, kinda emotional.
I didn't expect to feel like that la Ning
You been so far. It ain't the same wei.
Although we've been away a while after high school
*those days were missed badly like bringing phone and mp3 to school just for fun*
Go toilet together remember?
Hide liquid paper? haha..
So far wei
3/4 a globe? T.T
Go there become feipo nevermind ah don't become skinny skinny
later i cannot recognise you how ah =(
If you wana eat then eat la go there don't eat what you wana do wei
Remember to keep in touch la wei whatsapp viber whatever la
update me always babe
anything you can always share with me, and us <3
We'll be right here. Right? =)

Its far. Take care.

We'll be stepping into a new stage in our lives, everything changes. 
But well, we ain't. Right?

All the best, to all of us =) Cheers.

Words I write

I always thought that I have a gift for words
I always expressed in simple words.
Easy yet effective.
I decide I will continue writing.
Here, if not anywhere else.
Meaningful lyrics is what I always search for in a song.
I thought I could write them myself too,
well who couldn't, right? =)

Dear Daddy

Its been five years I haven't see you.
For a long period of time, I did hate you alot.
You wrecked my home
You hurt mummy
You made us leave.
You made us suffer
We have to spend thrift
We had to flee
I adapted to a new home momma gave me
It was peaceful and nice. We were very happy.
Momma is awesome. A very capable woman.
But she had no one to lean on.
We, children were too young to depend on.
She did everything herself, like literally.

I couldn't change anything.
Now this is fate.
But what if you were a decent person
What if you never made momma cry
What if you never mixed with the fools.
What if you're the best dad you can be
You made brother hate you so much,
I guess he wouldn't accept you again this lifetime.
What if you were always there for me
and not tease me all the time.
I don't like you teasing me with stupid names all the time.

You could have gave me the best home.
You could have been the best dad ever,
and gave me anything I wanted.
You'd made mum happy.
You could, but you didn't.

Right now

Its been awhile since everything felt right anymore
I don't even know whats your plan
Or how you feel anymore.
Its like walking down a road I can't decide on where to go
I'm like been leashed. Following and reacting to situations that appear
It wasn't this way.
I was lost, I was terrified. I was depressed. I didn't know what to do
I told myself it would be over soon
I wish I left earlier.
I even wished that, I haven't met you
But I appreciate the times we had together.
Those were the best times of my life.
I know you did, but now I don't.
I'm lost babe.
What is it that changed your mind
Can't I do anything to make it right anymore?
You were the deciding one. Not me
I'm not stupid either, you thought I don't know much
Actually I kinda know everything.
If you fell for her, what I can say is maybe you're just dumb
or just, you still wanna have fun. Thats all
But if you still wanna keep me, you'd better
If you don't make yourself clear, I'm moving on babe
Now I don't see why I need to leave my heart here
Unless if you do something to convince me, I would babe.
You just don't wanna commit. I don't see why.
You're a full grown adult, maybe haunted by your past.
Or maybe you really love her. Then I'm wrong and I'm sorry.
I wanna apologise if I did say something offensive.
I just wanna know the reason.
If its fate, well babe, fate ain't the determinant. We'll just have to work for it
The distance is just something we fear.
You just, don't be stupid. LOL
If you ever get to read this, please do tell me.
I don't see the need to tell this to many people.
It's not their concern either.
I hate people seeing me as a weakling and soft.
I hate when people look down at me.
I am haunted by my past also.
I thought I could let it go, but I guess I never will
I think you know whats best for us. I respect your decision whatsoever.
Or maybe I just complicated a very simple matter.
Then I apologise and just ignore whatever.
Now I feel better, writing this out.
This is a decision made by my instinct.
I hope it ain't wrong and disastrous for any of us.
Well, you will still my best buddy ever. I love you, as a close friend =)

不够吗？

他们总是对我们有要求

你满足吗？

你怎么总是要逼我做我不想做的事呢？
这样不够好吗？
我自足啊
你呢？
我喜欢随心 别管那么多

This is my story

Recalling those days in primary school, I wasn't even aware about what studying is. My UPSR results suck. I couldn't get into a good class.
Though they said they did not assign any class as a 'bad' class, me and my fellow same-fate friends felt that we were seriously discriminated. 1P12-1P8 is first band class, others (1P7-1P1) are at the same rank. The whole system goes like this. The larger the number the better. Me and my same-fate friends were placed at 1P1. wth we had 4As for UPSR why the heck do you have to put us there???

The best part is, 1P1 is all like the belakang class, only 20+ people if not mistaken. There are quite a number of students from peralihan last year. Yeah the bad bad students.
I sat with my same-fate friend. We were like so wana get out of here. We want to end this. And I am the only prefect of the class there were times that I did not know what to do when my classmates break the rules in front of me. Forgodsakes I close one eye all the time. If not I guess they will beat me up. I was class monitor even before I became a prefect. I ditched being class monitor to be prefect.

Well the system in AMC is different than in other schools I guess. You're ranked with the number of As in your subjects, then CGPA, not purata. Damn we worked darn hard. The next year me and my friend were placed in 2P11. Thats the first year in my life that I have been in a first band class. That is when my life really started. Seriously.
I still managed to be in first band class. The next year I had to transfer to Penang. I wanted to go to PCGHS but because they refer to my UPSR result and not my form2 result, they rejected me. I went to the principal of SMJK Heng Ee. He saw the name of my ex-school, he immediately took me in without even looking at my result slip. Frankly, I didn't really like the school at first. The first week was awful. I had no koku to look forward to. And I still have my determination with me, the one I picked up when I was in form1. I continued to score in PMR and SPM. Well, for me, I guess I was lucky. But they keep telling me that its not about the luck. I know I am not that brilliant actually, I know there is one day that I will meet my limit.

I ditched studying college 2 weeks after enrollment and went to do STPM. That's tough for me, and everyone too. Maybe that is where I met my limits. It is still, now. I will just have to keep coping with it, whether I like it or not. Its still a part of growing up you see. I will just take it as it is. I have faith there's still a bright future for me out there, if it is really fated that way, I will just take it. Its not within my will either.
I guess its the beginning of the cycle. Be put down. Then grow to be stronger. Like in UPSR.


I had a dream come true once. I believe dreams will come true. Though not this time, some time in the future, I will rise to be somebody.

Just to share heh.

 三分鐘就知道誰是你最愛的人? (98%的準確率)   一個很準的心理測試：按下面的步驟一步一步做，不要作弊，否則你

的希望會落空（用３分鐘完成）發送這個留言的人說：她的願望在十

分鐘內變成現實，記住：不要有欺騙行為。這個戲的結果非常有趣，

注意：按順序往下讀，不能跳躍地往下讀（只要花３分鐘，值得一試

）

 請首先拿一枝筆和一張紙   

 一、首先，在一列中寫下１到１１的號碼（即１、２、３、４、５、

６、７、８、９、１０、１１） 

二、在號碼１和２的旁邊，寫下你所想的任意兩個數字  

三、在號碼３和７的旁邊，寫下任意兩個異性的名字。（注意：不要跳躍的向下看，不要作弊哦）                                                                                                                     

四、在號碼４、５、６的旁邊，寫下朋友或親戚的名字幕（不要有欺

騙行為）  

五、在號碼８、９、１０、１１的旁邊，寫下４首歌的名字。   

六、最後，許一個願。   

  結果：   

１. 你必須把這個遊戲告訴給（號碼２旁邊寫下的數字）個人。   

２. 號碼３是你所愛的人。   

３. 號碼７是你所喜歡的但不能與之相伴的人。   

４. 號碼４是你最關心的人。   

５. 號碼５是非常瞭解你的人。   

６. 號碼６是你重要的人。   

７. 號碼８的歌適合號碼３的人。   

８. 號碼９的歌適合號碼７的人。   

９. 號碼１０的歌最能代表你的想法。   

１０. 序號１１的歌是你對生活的感受。   讀完這個結果之後，在一個小時之內轉載到2個論壇，如果照此做，

了你的許願就會變成現實，否則，就會事與願違。

I feel its kinda accurate heh :)

no harm trying yo <3

have fun!

我发现 I realise

我只是想要找个人谈天
 I just need somebody to talk to

就是那么简单
Thats all

蔡健雅 - 思念 KTV Version

你管我 我就是这样

我喜欢发白日梦
我喜欢做我喜欢的事情
我喜欢你
我喜欢注意别人不会注意的
我喜欢放空  但其实我不是在放空的
我喜欢弄你笑
我喜欢大笑
我喜欢告诉你你的不好  别讨厌我好吗
我喜欢与朋友谈笑
我喜欢疯狂
我喜欢神经质的我
我喜欢吃冰淇淋
我喜欢我的床
我喜欢一个人的时候
但我也喜欢一起的时候
我喜欢回想，好的不好的
我喜欢分享
我喜欢你的笑容
我喜欢你向我诉苦的时候
我喜欢我的家
但我也喜欢道外面去
我喜欢青色  但我不讨厌其他颜色
我喜欢收藏   那些是我的回忆
我喜欢看蓝天  无限的想象
我喜欢我的头发

无论如何
我就是这样

你管我啊

你看不见

我这句话的背后

我心在想什么

脑海中的画面

你看不见

我变态

ignore 我吧

但我希望你管我

又是你 ：）

跟你
很舒服


也许你不懂吧

因为你都不大在意

那一天不懂怎样遇见你

现在  很舒服


但我想要的  不只是这些而已

Today

Today I went back to school and gave lesson to my juniors
It has been a while since I've seen them
I love them lah :)
But somehow they dissapointed me :(
I really hope they know what I am trying to tell them
They are still not in the right mode and attitude yet
Maybe they don't see things as I do
*sighs* nevermind I had times when I don't get what my seniors and my teachers are trying to tell me either
There is still a little bit more time
I hope
They don't take things that easily anymore
I hope
They grow up faster
I hope
They can see things more seriously, see further not the present only
Its a matter of whether they WANT it or not
Anybody can do it if they want it badly
Attitude
Guys please realise :)
I am here to help
Whether you want to be helped or not :)
Jiayous

Hope & Pray

I have never wanted something so badly
I didn't know why
I never thought that I would fail achieving it
Until today I am still confident
I don't know what made me feel that way
I will know whether I succeeded--at the end of this month
Another D-day
gahhh how many d-days could I have
I am seriously a bit tired.
Will I make it?
Will I make the people around me proud?
Will I be proud of myself?
Seriously I cannot do anything about it anymore
I did my best
What else can I possibly do to increase my chances?
I would do just anything
If only, I can make it
I hope so. I pray hard.
It is a dream that I hope would come true
I imagined that if it really came true, it would be the happiest day of my life
From the first day I stepped into the warzone
I knew and I am clear what I want.
Now war is over, its up to them. And my effort i put in.
hope all goes well. hope for the best =)

P.S:有人人间蒸发了 XD

蔡健雅-Goodbye & Hello 空白格

我的中六生涯 My Sixth Form 我的荣誉 I am proud to be a Sixth Former

记得我当初的一个决定
改变了－可以说我的一生
那时候我在INTI念 diploma 了
还不错啦  只是有时候觉得很没挑战 性
不然就整天 class canceled 不然就在浪费时间等上课
我有点无奈
那时中六已经开课了
一个星期后  我决定读中六
我拨电给我的好友
喂，中六还不错吗？
不错。很好啊。你伤风啊？（其实我在哭）
对啊。。。。。。我想。。我要去读中六了。
好啊！过来！！＝）
就这样隔天我就浩浩荡荡的去买校服和校鞋了

中六，我来了
之前我已经买了中六的书本。我自己也不懂为什么会改变主义念INTI
好尴尬 好矛盾
就这样，一切开始了
大家还记得我们在DK1上课吗？
又怎样被赶到我们的微波炉上课了？

还有 伟扬废废的问题？

第一次考试，班上第三名
但一次比一次退步了
到最后已经倒全班第七名了
大家进步了，而不是我退步
你们还记得我们的study group吗？
学校对面的container?
还记得我们买Giancoli?

我们熬过好困的日子  在那微波炉里头
熬出了成绩
那时我们好气－－校方不让我们用有冷气的课室
我们都说要证明就算没冷气我们也依然能考得优秀的成绩
我们饿
在班偷吃  被骂也不管
有时饿了我们也分享食物
还记得我们怎样倒数下课时间
下课前十分钟我的钱已经放好在桌上了

还记得上Wong Sir 的课吗
我很喜欢他问我们问题
aldehyde 怎样变 carboxylic acid?? 什么能oxidise什么不能
precipitate什么颜色
功课有做吗
他总爱唠唠叨叨为我们好。要努力、要拼
那Teoh Sir呢？
他怎样拿出手 巾抹嘴巴  他那张’你sure吗‘ 的脸
每次我都想笑
Pn Leong呢？她总爱叫我 YUAN YEE~~~~~
然后问：谁是ketua kerajaan
不然就整天叫Kevin 和 Kah Heng 因为他们都在讨论数学或其他科目！！！
然后被问是又不会答 XD
最讨厌的数学节
我已经很努力去接受了。。。。好困的节
就这样
时间过得非常快。到了三月
每年的这时候－－北马戏剧比赛
那一年的比赛，我永远不会忘记
还记得那一大堆的独白
那个好苦 还好到最后对给别人了
我有点遗憾不能与我的学弟学妹交流
现在我依然会想和他们谈天
他们真的很棒！＝）
倒数一个星期比赛
我真的没办法，我必须把功课丢到一旁了
我不能那么自私。我也相信我可以追得上
哭也哭过  熬也熬过
最后我的小愿望成真了。我真的好开心 ＝D

与校方的问题，我真的很无奈。我还能怎样
是我办事不妥
好多第一次
也是最后一次了
那天看回我的戏剧功课，我对我的回忆说：
我不是一定要你回来，只是，你可以让我在想回想的时候
让我记得更多吗
那么简单
那年我完全没去看任何舞台剧
真TMD但是我真的无法再牺牲任何时间

大家还记得我们一起补习2＋2吗
我们去买包上来吃
补习前去kutabali吃点心
做test的时候还讨论呢！
其实很爽
那一年半，我的脑海中一直提醒自己回家做功课，回家读书
STPM一点都不容易
我很开心它过去了，但我会怀念那些日子
我们都很积极
在温习
在做练习
我们永远离不开书本
这段时间，没有人会说你太努力
因为大家都在努力
我们有目标 有梦想
但是很可惜有些同学已经选择放弃了
我们还能怎样，我们唯有做好自己的
还记得那段时间一直有好友支持，说加油
奋斗把我们给拉近了
我们一起拼
我们闷了就说说梦想   说说以后的日子
好了又回头温习了
你懒惰的话，好友还会骂你呢！
“哪里有人睡午觉睡酱久的！不可以！”
在这，你多努力，你就会得回多少
是很公平的

后期，我们更拼了
我们自己做时间表
planning读书的时间
我们都怕输
是的我们都承认
但我们从来不自私，我们都想大家好，我们一起的嘛
去seminar帮我们拿notes
教不会的人
一起讨论，错，是争论

哈哈还记得我们Australian Mathematics Competition 的时候吗
真刺激
还可以讨论的
还参考答案
还对答案

那段时间
还有一个关键人物：我班的人所谓的’神‘
凯洋啦
要问他问题还要排队的呢
我们都很佩服他呢
我又他这样的朋友，真的感到光荣。你们呢？

考试期间
要死不死
最苦的时候
考PA前一天
Kevin:喂做么2009的past year model answer 酱写的？
Yuan Yee:.........我没看过野！！等等我去问Amare
（Amare 又打去问Leslie)
....................
就这样议论纷纷不知道多久
没记错的话Harry也一直拨电来问我东西（我只有PA算好罢了）
三个星期
考完每一张试卷就很想去打篮球发泄（知道自己答错了不爽了）
很爽

你们还记得校长进来教书的时候吗？XD
你们自己懂。What is a Polynomial?????
笑死我

我尽然坐在第一排
我很大方的偷吃 和 睡觉

还记得我们一直妥ROGER帮我们复印
还记得我们九皇爷的时候我们去吃curry mee


大家，进步了
我们毕业了

When we were in Lower Six. Still playful.

One of the best moments. <3

I'm at the first row. How we celebrated Mr Wong's birthday!! =)

6AS2

Johnny's trophy!! Pelajar Cemerlang!

I like my expression.

And our memories will be with us forever.

大家
中六是我成长最多的日子
学了很多  失去的也多
你们，我们
好好的过
我们
再见
以后
打招呼吧
I am proud to be a Sixth Former.
Are you?
我永远记得你们
我爱你们
同志们
日后
加油

你

如果你要我说
你会听吗
如果你肯听
我信任你吗
如果你坚持要我说
我会对你反感吗
如果你不听
我会否更加想告诉你
我想你是爱我的
但会否有太多因素

如果我的文字乱七八糟
你会否用心去读  用心看
我想你还是爱我的
但你我没有勇气
如果我坚持留住你
你会留下来吗
还是


如果我累了
你会否。。。。
应该不会吧
我在侧
看着你
你知道我在这
我永远都在这
你知道的
但  永远有多久我不知道
永远过后   再见吧


如果你看到我
请你留下  看我多一眼
我珍惜  你

极限在哪里

我能容忍自己容忍着情况到什么程度
我一直在退让
我一直说没关系
我不知道为什么
我能容忍到几时？
一个我不会回答的问题
我不知道你在想什么  也不知道你怎么想
你怎么看我你这样对我是因为什么原因
我无法相信  这到底是什么一回事
短短得一段时间发生了那么多事情
我实在看不透你
有意无意随意一切都在你得掌控之中
有点后悔但是觉得侥幸遇见你
就当作发了一场梦
我想回到原点
这种感觉我受过了一点都不好受
你说你了解我
但我觉得你一点都不懂
你还是我得好知己  那永远不会改变
怀念是必有的
但我忘不了因为你而无奈得那种感受
我放弃

你永远都会是我的好知己，那永远不会改变

终于！

因为一些事情， 我决定
想的很多，想说的也很多
但是往往我没办法告诉任何人
我也没有一个对象一起分享
与其写在一本没人看的簿子
不如写在这，那不是更好吗？
文字是一种媒体，我希望它会让我过得更好
只有自己知道得实在太多
只有一个人得时候才不需要隐 藏任何情绪
不管任何事情也要笑着过
因为在天最黑得时候就是黎明得开始 ＝）