Right now

Its been awhile since everything felt right anymore
I don't even know whats your plan
Or how you feel anymore.
Its like walking down a road I can't decide on where to go
I'm like been leashed. Following and reacting to situations that appear
It wasn't this way.
I was lost, I was terrified. I was depressed. I didn't know what to do
I told myself it would be over soon
I wish I left earlier.
I even wished that, I haven't met you
But I appreciate the times we had together.
Those were the best times of my life.
I know you did, but now I don't.
I'm lost babe.
What is it that changed your mind
Can't I do anything to make it right anymore?
You were the deciding one. Not me
I'm not stupid either, you thought I don't know much
Actually I kinda know everything.
If you fell for her, what I can say is maybe you're just dumb
or just, you still wanna have fun. Thats all
But if you still wanna keep me, you'd better
If you don't make yourself clear, I'm moving on babe
Now I don't see why I need to leave my heart here
Unless if you do something to convince me, I would babe.
You just don't wanna commit. I don't see why.
You're a full grown adult, maybe haunted by your past.
Or maybe you really love her. Then I'm wrong and I'm sorry.
I wanna apologise if I did say something offensive.
I just wanna know the reason.
If its fate, well babe, fate ain't the determinant. We'll just have to work for it
The distance is just something we fear.
You just, don't be stupid. LOL
If you ever get to read this, please do tell me.
I don't see the need to tell this to many people.
It's not their concern either.
I hate people seeing me as a weakling and soft.
I hate when people look down at me.
I am haunted by my past also.
I thought I could let it go, but I guess I never will
I think you know whats best for us. I respect your decision whatsoever.
Or maybe I just complicated a very simple matter.
Then I apologise and just ignore whatever.
Now I feel better, writing this out.
This is a decision made by my instinct.
I hope it ain't wrong and disastrous for any of us.
Well, you will still my best buddy ever. I love you, as a close friend =)